Missing Grandma

My Grandma died on December 21, 2013. She was 84 years old. Six days later would have been her 60th wedding anniversary.

Grandma had Alzheimer's disease, and spent the last two years in assisted living facilities. Grandpa and my aunt still took her out to eat a few times a week, and she would come to the house for Sunday lunch and holidays. She even went on a few vacations. But she often didn't know who anyone really was, and as time went on it became harder for her to talk much. Occasionally she would make her familiar silly face, or say something funny. But in a lot of ways, she just didn't seem like Grandma anymore. At least to me.

Two days after Grandma died I went with my parents to "identify the body" before she was cremated. It was the first time in a long time that I saw her when she wasn't sitting in her wheelchair, or propped up in bed. Instead, she was laid flat and I thought it looked like she was just taking a nap, letting her body rest "horizontal" for a bit before she got up again, perhaps to make us lunch. And seeing her like that, looking like she used to before Alzheimer's changed her life? That's when it really hit me. I had already seen her decline gradually, but the finality of it all began to sink in. And then I finally let myself really miss her.

I loved Grandma very much. We all did. She was smart, and funny, and loving, and very good. I loved visiting her in Lubbock for a week at a time as a kid. And I will forever cherish the time I spent living with Grandma and Grandpa in Richmond after college. Just reading back through blog posts in which I mentioned her has brought lots of fun times to mind, like Mexican lunch on Saturdays and Rook games and looking out for her turtles in the back yard.

We held Grandma's funeral on Monday, December 30. It was beautiful. Grandpa got up and read from Proverbs 31 about the Noble Wife. Ryan read about love from 1 Corinthians 13. The priest remembered her love for turtles in his homily. I read the prayers. Sunni read a beautiful poem she wrote the night before Grandma died. A soloist sang Faure's Pie Jesu. We all cried.

I do not mourn for Grandma, because I believe she is in a much better place now. But I'm sad for Grandpa, and for the rest of us she has left behind. We all miss her dearly.

Love you Grandma.