Never Have I Ever

Back in the day I had the nickname Miss PP. I'm talkin' junior high days. While PP might conjure images of something entirely different it actually stood for Propriety Police. I kept the other kids on their toes. No littering, no talking with your mouth full, no bad language. Writing this makes me think I must have been pretty obnoxious, which was probably true, but I also know it was all in fun- they liked calling me Miss PP and I didn't mind it either.

The thing about being Miss PP, however, is that you automatically set yourself up on a dangerously high pedestal.

Take, for example, the day we played Never Have I Ever. In case you don't know, Never Have I Ever is a game in which lots of people sit in chairs in a circle, and one person stands in the middle and says something they have never done before (like "never have I ever beat Super Mario Brothers," or "never have I ever been to Topeka"). Anyone else who has done that thing gets up and runs to another seat, and the person left standing takes a turn saying something they've never done. During one particular game of Never Have I Ever someone announced that they had never...I hesitate to write it...peed in a swimming pool. Now that I think about it that person must have been lying, because what little kid has never peed in a pool? So naturally everyone else got up and ran for a new seat, and making the conscious decision not to be a liar myself, I got up and ran.

Only I ran too slowly. Sure enough, me, Miss PP, was the only one left without a seat. I was mortified. And ironically, my nickname became doubly fitting.