In honor of National Poetry Month

April is National Poetry Month, and while I do not especially care for poetry, or pretend to be a poet myself, I thought I'd share this poem I wrote in 2001 (I think), which is based on a true story.

*****

The other day at work, I had to clean the loo.
I'm happy to admit it's not my favorite thing to do.
I started with the women's, "the first door on your right,"
When something in the second stall greeted me with a fright.

For on the floor, next to the bowl, a small brown object lay.
Various thoughts ran through my mind and I did not know what to say.
I kicked it just a little, so see if it was true,
And judging by the smear it left I knew the thing was poo.

"Oh gross, oh yuck, oh foul!" I cried, "whatever shall I do?"
"Must I clean up this object that is someone else's poo?"

I ran outside to grab fresh air, I thought that I would puke.
"Why must I be the one to clean this dump that someone took?"
I regained my composure, and prepared myself for the job,
Then went back in and once again faced the smelly log.

I gathered toilet paper, a half a roll at least,
And bent down really quickly to pick up the messy piece.
Quick as a flash the poo was gone, swirling down the toilet.
I wiped my brow and sighed aloud, glad the challenge had been met.

Later that day I told my boss the story of my torture.
He squirmed and cringed and filled the air with lots and lots of laughter.
He gave me a quarter and promised a raise for cleaning up the mess.
"Of all the girls I think you, Andi, seem to amuse me the best!"