"Commas are going out of fashion."
"Commas are common- they hang out in pool bars they're so common."
"Helen Keller felt her way across the room, but she thought that wasn't the cat she sat on."
"I think [subheadings] are your pathetic attempt to bring order to your life."
"You see, us professors, we sit around and laugh at your papers. 'Ah, look! Ibid. Ibid. Ibid.'"
"Even if you pass this class...I have up to five years to change your grade. Don't mess with me."
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