The mug doesn't do it justice.

You know those big mugs from Starbucks for every different state? Well my parents gave me the one for New Mexico, because they're cool like that. But let me say, as awesome as a New Mexico mug is, Starbucks doesn't do the Land of Enchantment justice.

Here's what you can learn from the mug: "Red or Green?" is a question. But it doesn't explain that it is our very important Official Question, and that it refers to chile. Seriously, go to any Mexican restaurant in New Mexico and they'll ask "red or green?" I like to order "Christmas," which means both. Actually, I'm usually too embarrassed to say "Christmas," even though that's really what they call it, so I just say "both, please." Next, you learn that New Mexico entered the Union in 1912 (we're not even 100 yet!), our land area is 121,356 sq. mi. (let me add that it's the fifth largest state in the country), our average low/high temperatures are 39.7F and 785F (no joke, they missed the period), and that our lowest elevation is 2,842' and the highest is 13,161' (again, let me add that 13,000 feet is really high, and that Santa Fe, at about 7000', is the highest capital city in the whole country, even higher than Denver).

Finally, you learn: "The state of New Mexico has been a leader in energy research and development since 1945 in the nuclear, solar, and geothermal areas." Sweet- they think the most important thing is that New Mexico helped create the bombs that killed tons of people.

What you don't learn is that even though it didn't become a state until 1912, it's super old. Santa Fe ranks right up there with Jamestown and St. Augustine. You don't learn about the multiculturalism in the state, except through the picture of an Indian pueblo on the front. You don't learn about the world's largest hot air balloon event that happens annually (we call it the Balloon Fiesta!) or about the fifty foot puppet Santa Fe has burned every year since 1924.

Pretty much you don't learn about the awesomeness that is New Mexico. Thank goodness you have me here to teach you.

The grass is pretty green on this side, too.

Like most everyone else in this world, I often wish a few things in my life were different. If only I had an amazingly cute apartment in an amazingly cute neighborhood. If only I looked like a super model. If only I had a wealthy husband and could travel more often. Heck, if only I had a guy to go out to dinner with every once in a while. I don't really think of myself as a terribly jealous person. I don't covet fancy cars or huge houses or designer clothing. And yet, as the pastor pointed out at church on Sunday, wishing I had someone else's life is envy, and envy means trouble. Not that there is any particular person whose life I wish I led. It's just the little things that start to add up. I wish I had her hair, I wish I lived where they do, I wish I had her style, I wish I wish I wish.

The other night I was hanging out with two friends, and I told them I had just realized I'll be twenty-seven by the time I'm done with my two degrees here in North Carolina. "I'll almost be thirty, and my life will barely be starting!" Did you catch that? Barely be starting. That's always been my problem. Life will be exciting as soon as I get to college. I can't wait until I graduate. Things will be great once I get into grad school. Real life will start when I'm through with school, or when I have a good career, or when I'm married, or when I have kids... Before you know it I'm going to be old and dead. One of my friends said something that is always said or realized when I get in this situation, and which always helps (until I forget it and get back in the same bad cycle). It doesn't matter that I'll be twenty-seven, she reminded me. "Because you're still having a good time now, while you're in school. Look at the fun stuff you did this weekend, for example."

And she's right. I may not think I have the fabulous life I dream about, but it's still pretty good. I like school a lot, definitely more than working. I get to sleep in and read books and study for hours at coffee shops. In a way, I even get paid to do it. I've also made some good friends here, and I keep making more. At the same time I occasionally have the chance to visit old friends. I have a loving and supportive family, both immediate and extended. I have the time, desire, and good health that enable me to run around my lovely little lake. There are smaller things that make life fun, too. I enjoy talking to friends about history and theses and evidence and arguments, and being super excited about a field trip to Williamsburg, yet I still don't feel like too much of a nerd. I also enjoy eating simple dinners that include lima beans with friends. I like hanging out with the two guys in my homegroup and talking about theology, or about how much we like beer. I don't like grading papers, but since it has to happen I like making a hot cup of tea and wearing sweats to grade on my comfy couch.

So life is good. The problem is, not only do I need to remember that, I also need to really believe it. I need to stop constantly looking at how it could be better, and I need to enjoy and be thankful for all that I've been blessed with already. Because I really have been blessed.

My Weekend

Friday: Woke up sort of early and wrote a short paper; drove to Richmond for internship meeting; went to grandparent's house (they weren't home though, they're in Greece) and did laundry; aunts came over and we had dinner; finished laundry and drove back to Raleigh.

Saturday: Woke up early and went to the conference; after I got home I spent an hour and a half ordering books through inter-library loan; went to dinner at a friend's house and hung out with the girls.

Sunday: Slept in, then read John Bidwell's trail diary from 1841; went for a run; went to the evening church service; went to the store; came home and made my butternut squash/apple soup (I also added a few carrots, and ate it served over rotini pasta); watched a little tv; read some more; finally off to bed now.

a day with the Superstars of Early American History

This morning I woke up before the sun to get dressed, pick up a friend, and get to Chapel Hill for a history conference at UNC. My professor had told us about it last week in class, and I decided it would be a good thing to go to. It was in honor of the retirement of Don Higginbotham, and many of the speakers and attendees were his former students. The first speaker was Pulitzer Prize winning Gordon Wood, on George Washington. Next was Jack Greene on the need for historians to stop viewing the colonies merely as precursors to the United States. I was in the elevator with him and his wife before I knew who he was. After lunch Joseph Ellis spoke. He wrote Founding Brothers (which also received the Pulitzer Prize) and American Sphinx, and he's one of those historians who has made it over to the popular side, like McCullough, only Ellis actually has a Ph.D. Also at the conference was Fred Anderson, but I missed his talk yesterday.

Anyway, these guys are all big deals in the academic world of Colonial, Revolutionary, and Early Republic history. Other historians came from all over to attend and wish Higginbotham a merry retirement. There weren't very many young students there, which was too bad. I think it was a great opportunity and I'm glad I went!

another RVA summer

The Richmond internship is a go! I start Monday, June 4. I think it will be good, and it pays, which is definitely an internship bonus. I went today and met with the people I'll be working with and saw the collection I'll be assigned to. They seem very nice, and this will be good experience. Plus, this means more hanging out with the grandparents and cool peeps in Richmond.

update

Never fear friends, I fixed the problem and Ira Glass and I are still on for this afternoon. I'm pretty much on my way to becoming a technological genius.

Uugghhhh

I installed iTunes 7, because it kept asking me to and I thought, what the heck? But it doesn't work. When I try to open iTunes one of those evil little boxes with the startling noise pops up and says:

"iTunes cannot run because it has detected a problem with your audio configuration."

I don't even know what that means. And I don't know what to do about it. And I'm annoyed because I was about to download the newest "This American Life" program for my run this afternoon. Buggers.

If anyone knows what to do, and surely some of you computer-types do know, please tell me! Thanks!

Food

I've been thinking about it a lot lately, for several reasons.

First of all, I went grocery shopping today, and groceries, it turns out, are expensive. I feel like I keep spending more and more money on food. But I always buy lots of fruits and vegetables, so maybe that helps make it expensive, instead of living off of Ramen. Or maybe I'm just not accustomed to the (expensive) real world.

Also, I just wrote my historiography paper on food and the 19th-century westward migration.

Thirdly, I'm craving my mother's burritos and guacamole.

Finally, here is a list of some foods that I love:
pistachios
(New) Mexican food
juicy black plums
edamame
macaroni and cheese
Thai curry
Indian cuisine
warm flour tortillas
scones (bet you didn't see that coming)
thin French fries
good beer (that counts, right?)
bran muffins
shrimp cocktail
and of course, my chocolate milk.

homework shmomework

I did homework all weekend. My breaks usually revolved around eating. I cooked the cauliflower soup (which I just finished off), the next day I made a grilled chicken salad (and set the smoke alarm off when I burned my croutons), and on Sunday I made that macaroni and cheese with squash and corn dish (adding thyme was a mistake, even though the recipe calls for it).

This morning I read more secondary sources, then sorted electronic files at the records center, then went to my TA class and led discussion. Only there wasn't much discussion. Nobody read the material, so I mostly just talked, and my voice started to get horse. And a guy fell asleep.

Tomorrow I have to spend the whole day writing a historiography paper. I'm a little nervous I won't be able to write "at least eight pages," since it's sort of a limited topic. Well, maybe I'm more nervous about how I haven't planned out the paper well enough yet (or at all) and how I know I will end up spending hours doing that tomorrow, leaving less time to actually write. Which means I'll have to be up really late, and I will be sad.

As soon as the paper is done and turned in I have to start researching the Pueblo Revolt, and I have to start (finally) reading primary sources for my big research paper (which will turn into my thesis). Plus next week I will have tons more papers to grade, and the weekend after that I'm in Williamsburg the whole time, and then after that drafts start coming due, and shortly after that the whole semester is over. Thinking about that stresses me out because I have tons and tons of work to do before the semester can be over. Ugh.

when the lights go out

It rained rained rained all day long. Then around 7:30 the power went out, and it got very dark. I found my one and only combined flashlight-and-radio and started looking for candles, in case the lights were going to be off forever. I managed to find two tea lights (from jack-o-lanterns sophomore year) and a little box full of tiny incense candles (a hand-me-down Christmas gift from my mother that will most likely never be used). You see, I don't really like candles. But when the lights go out, you wish you had them.

Also during this very dark period my cauliflower soup was not done cooking on the stove. Yes, I voluntarily bought cauliflower at the store and made soup with it. Luckily cauliflower soup isn't the sort of thing that will be disastrously affected by no power.

Oh, I also found a little book-reading light. Because the one thing every girl wants to do when the lights go out is homework.

This episode reminded me of that time during high school when the power went off and I was home alone. I left and went to my friend Megan's house around the block. They were making hamburgers in the dark and her dad wore a head lamp. Now that I think of it, how were they cooking hamburgers? Anyway, they let me have one. It was like a fun indoor camp out.

Back to tonight, the power came back on, my soup finished cooking, and I didn't have to read with an itty-bitty book light. Whew.

today's miscellany

Today in the car I realized I can get the NPR station from Richmond (as well as the country station in Richmond I listen to) down here in Raleigh. Not that I would want to though- it's better here. We have a separate classical music station, so the WUNC/NPR station has room for extra goodness.
*I am an idiot and this is a lie. I was fooled by static-y coincidences.

I met with the director of the history program today, and after I send an email requesting to transfer, I'm officially a Public History student. And I will write a thesis. Scary.

My Doritos got stuck in the machine when I tried to buy them during a break in class. But a classmate came by and tilted the machine for me. I don't believe I've ever bought Doritos from a machine, or pretty much ever. I wanted to get Peanut M&Ms, but they only had king sized, which cost 25 cents more than I had to spend.

Things are looking up for a Richmond summer internship. I'm going to talk to the guy tomorrow I think.

When I came out of class tonight at 7pm it was still light out! And warm! Hurray!

My Weekend

Friday: Didn't go to The Center (the gym) with Grandma when she woke me up at 6:45, but eventually went by myself around 10; ate lunch with grandparents; read, then tried to keep reading but was distracted by cartoons; went to dinner at Starlite with Allison, Sam, and Sam's amazingly ridiculous friend, then out for wine at Can Can.

Saturday: Read in bed, went out for Mexican Saturday with grandparents, read some more, aunt came over for tea, read again, went to Commercial Taphouse for a beer with Jennifer.

Sunday: Went for a run around the neighborhood next to ours (my first run not around my lake), ate Sunday dinner with the family, hung out with Sunni and endured her trying to make me touch my toes (which I still can't do), went to church at FSC, went to aunt's house for dinner, watched Memoirs of a Geisha, got home after 11 and put laundry on (why do I always wait until the last minute?), quickly researched Chinese printing for the discussion I have to lead tomorrow, soon off to bed after I move the laundry around.

lists

I like to make lists. Lists of groceries, lists of readings for class, lists of things to get at Target, lists of music I want, etc.

Mostly lists help me remember things. But sometimes lists are nice just so I can enjoy a brief moment of accomplishment as I cross items off. Lists are also helpful in pros and cons situations.

Last week the world was rosy, and this week it's still mostly rosy but I'm starting to get that mid-semester nervous-ness that comes with lots of extra research and reading to do, plus important plans to make for the future. I realized today that I need to register for class next week, so this switch from public history to regular/traditional/academic/whatever-else-you-want-to-call-it history is real and immediate. I thought I could hold off for another semester on making the decision final, but I think I need to register for both thesis research and Spanish. Also, I need a summer internship. I'm working on trying to get one in particular in Richmond, but I also think it might be fun to do one in Tacoma, so maybe I'll even do two. Then again, maybe both of my leads will fall through and I will have nothing. Nervousness.

Then there is the question of where to live next year. This is not an immediate concern (at least I don't think it is, but I need to go read the fine print on my lease), but it's still something more to feel nervousness about. The "to move or not to move" question is a good occasion to make a list. Pros to moving include: live closer to school (which means walking more, saving on gas, and maybe not paying $270 to park on campus); save on rent during the summer when I'm not in Raleigh; maybe live in a fun neighborhood with stores and coffee shops in walking distance, which is a lifestyle I love. But cons include: moving is a pain (change of address for everything important, new start-up fees, general frustration); I would need to pay to store my stuff over the summer; I would miss my lake; I will most likely move again the next year, meaning I will have moved every year from 2001-2008, and moving is a pain. Also, there's a good chance I can't actually afford a decent apartment where I want it.

But let's end with a happy list:

• Spring is coming.
• I'm going to start recycling again.
• Between Raleigh, Tacoma, and Richmond, I will have seen many of the people I love within two weeks time.
• I'm excited about history.

Weekend Review: good times in the City of Destiny

This is Tacoma, Washington. I love Tacoma.


Friday I woke up at 3:15 in the morning to fly out of Raleigh at 6:30. I arrived at Sea-Tac airport at 11:15am and Andrew picked me up and drove me to Tacoma. We picked up Katie (Andrew's wife, and one of my best friends from college) and went out for fish and chips. After that I was very sleepy, so I took a nap. When I woke up we had tea and played Scrabble (I lost), and then another couple came over and we played Settlers of Catan.


This is Andrew and Katie. They are cute and married. I love them.


Saturday we slept in, then made a nice big breakfast. We drove up to Seattle and after a stop at Crate and Barrel we went to a fun neighborhood called Fremont. We ate lunch at a nice Thai place, then walked around visiting little shops. We also stopped by the organic chocolate factory for free samples. Then we drove over to Capitol Hill (another neighborhood), picked up Katie's sister and her boyfriend, and went to get coffee. Afterwards we dropped those two back off and drove back to Tacoma. Katie made dinner (she cooked a lot, and it was always good), then she and I walked to a fun little bar, where I got a fancy champagne and honey drink.

Sunday we went to church, and it was nice to see a few old friends. We ate lunch at home, then went for a walk down along the waterfront (that picture at the top is a view from our walk). I used to walk down there all the time, and I miss it. Next we went to the Metropolitan Market, a fun fancy grocery store with lots of free samples. In the evening I went over to my old Bible study leader's house for dinner with her and her husband. Later that night Katie and Andrew and I walked to the Parkway, my favorite place in Tacoma for drinks, and had delicious beer. We talked and laughed and had a great bonding time, which we continued back at their apartment until 1:30 in the morning.

Here I am with Katie on our walk.


Monday I stopped by my old workplace and visited with the boss for a few minutes, which was fun. I then went over to UPS to visit two professors. It felt a little funny because I drove straight to the sub parking lot, walked across to Wyatt to see them, then walked straight back and left, just as if it was two and a half years ago and I'd gone to class. I then met back up with Katie for lunch, and we stopped by the UW-Tacoma store downtown so I could get a Tacoma sweatshirt (thanks to my Grandpa who told me to buy a sweatshirt while I was there so I don't forget my heritage). While Katie went back to work I went to a coffee shop to do some history reading. It was fun to still feel slightly connected to Tacoma, because I knew the owner, and I overheard the kids next to me mention my ex-boyfriend. From the coffee shop I walked over to Wright Park to check out a manuscript library museum, but it was closed. I then walked back to Katie's apartment. After Andrew got off work we went out for a happy hour dinner, which was really good. We then drove to Seattle and picked up her sister to take her out for dessert for her birthday. I got the bread pudding. Around 9pm we left Seattle and they dropped me off at the airport for my overnight flight back to Raleigh (via Chicago).

In conclusion, I had a great weekend. I didn't go with big plans or an agenda, I just wanted to hang out with Katie and Andrew and enjoy Tacoma. We had a fun and relaxing time, and the weather was beautiful. I'm already trying to figure out how and when I can get back to the City of Destiny.

it's a small (history) world

I just stopped by my alma mater to visit two of my former professors. It was nice to see them and catch up briefly. One professor is currently using the book of a professor from NCSU in his course, and the NCSU guy happens to be someone I will need to talk to eventually if I want to write a thesis on some aspect of western history, so it's fun I now have a random connection to talk to him about. I also told him I'm writing a paper on the Pueblo Revolt of 1680, and he copied an article for me that will be helpful. While I was there another professor came through who left a year or two ago and was stopping by to visit, just like me. I never had him or knew him, but a guy in my archives class knows him from when they were getting doctorates at Minnesota, so I said I know so-and-so and now when I go back and see him in class I'll have a message for him. These little connections are exciting to me. I'm really liking school and this whole academic world of history.