The grass is pretty green on this side, too.

Like most everyone else in this world, I often wish a few things in my life were different. If only I had an amazingly cute apartment in an amazingly cute neighborhood. If only I looked like a super model. If only I had a wealthy husband and could travel more often. Heck, if only I had a guy to go out to dinner with every once in a while. I don't really think of myself as a terribly jealous person. I don't covet fancy cars or huge houses or designer clothing. And yet, as the pastor pointed out at church on Sunday, wishing I had someone else's life is envy, and envy means trouble. Not that there is any particular person whose life I wish I led. It's just the little things that start to add up. I wish I had her hair, I wish I lived where they do, I wish I had her style, I wish I wish I wish.

The other night I was hanging out with two friends, and I told them I had just realized I'll be twenty-seven by the time I'm done with my two degrees here in North Carolina. "I'll almost be thirty, and my life will barely be starting!" Did you catch that? Barely be starting. That's always been my problem. Life will be exciting as soon as I get to college. I can't wait until I graduate. Things will be great once I get into grad school. Real life will start when I'm through with school, or when I have a good career, or when I'm married, or when I have kids... Before you know it I'm going to be old and dead. One of my friends said something that is always said or realized when I get in this situation, and which always helps (until I forget it and get back in the same bad cycle). It doesn't matter that I'll be twenty-seven, she reminded me. "Because you're still having a good time now, while you're in school. Look at the fun stuff you did this weekend, for example."

And she's right. I may not think I have the fabulous life I dream about, but it's still pretty good. I like school a lot, definitely more than working. I get to sleep in and read books and study for hours at coffee shops. In a way, I even get paid to do it. I've also made some good friends here, and I keep making more. At the same time I occasionally have the chance to visit old friends. I have a loving and supportive family, both immediate and extended. I have the time, desire, and good health that enable me to run around my lovely little lake. There are smaller things that make life fun, too. I enjoy talking to friends about history and theses and evidence and arguments, and being super excited about a field trip to Williamsburg, yet I still don't feel like too much of a nerd. I also enjoy eating simple dinners that include lima beans with friends. I like hanging out with the two guys in my homegroup and talking about theology, or about how much we like beer. I don't like grading papers, but since it has to happen I like making a hot cup of tea and wearing sweats to grade on my comfy couch.

So life is good. The problem is, not only do I need to remember that, I also need to really believe it. I need to stop constantly looking at how it could be better, and I need to enjoy and be thankful for all that I've been blessed with already. Because I really have been blessed.